Weekend getaway and embarassing revelations

I just returned from my weekend away, relaxing on the Northern NSW coast. I wandered on a beach every morning, which improves the whole day. We all collected shells, and my husband skipped stones. Murwillumbah, where I was born, was great to explore. There seems to be quite a community of hippies around there, so I had organic, vegetarian, and green based stores to look through while my husband watched cars rev their engines, and drive around in circles. I spent the next day lazing around the pool with my sister and our girls, after breakfast with some friends in Pottsville. The weather was warmer than it has been for a while, with a storm each evening, just how I like it. These are the weather patterns of my childhood. The heat would weigh heavy on my eyes every day at school, with water fights breaking out from time to time, then, as we were walking home the first drops of rain would fall and cool us down. I have to remind myself to get out, and appreciate how beautiful the outdoors is, when I get caught up in here too often. I love lazy days in company too. I would always prefer a meal with friends, or an afternoon on the grass, or sand, to a exciting night of jam-packed fun. Last night I watched Australian Idol and flicked through a book I borrowed from the holiday park games room. The book was One thousand petalled lotus, by Annette Noontil, an Australian. Which appears to be buddhist inspired, on spiritual healing and development . I borrowed this one permanently, but I will have to put it back out in the community once I'm done, to appease my guilt. It mentioned getting goosebumps when something is in alignment with your soul. I know a client who is in tune with all that stuff, gets goosebumps to tell her when something rings true. One of the girls on Idol sang True Colours, and I got goosebumps all over. I get it when Kasey Chambers sings the song too. I should get the chords, so I can play it on my guitar.
I was thinking of things that I am embarrassed to admit. I renamed my profile with my true name to be more honest, but as I become aware of a reader, I catch myself hesitating to reveal too much. I should be able to admit anything without embarrassment, at least to myself. I guess being aware of trying to suppress things is enlightening in itself, a kind of flashpoint to what areas I should be working on more. I am a bit embarrassed to acknowledge, I believe in some conspiracy theories. I am intrigued by secret societies and mind control and aliens and the new world order. I am tempted to live as if the world will not be at all the same after the year 2012. I wonder how easily I could be tempted into a cult, even if I would likely quit rather than follow through. There is a little cultishness in the Lotus book, which is what sucked me in. I completely believe in media manipulation, so I don't regularly follow the news. I am such a geek.