Where do I set my benchmark?

Aha! A difficult part for me in ABA, is that there is no one around for me to compare myself with. In hairdressing I can look at another stylist at work and think "I can do that" or "Wow! That's a new trick, I will need to learn that." While I am actually doing the therapy session I get little feedback from anyone but Aaron, who is usually thinking that I am making him work hard. In the salon I pay a lot of attention to body language of my clients, to see if they are unsure of anything I am doing before they have to mention it to me. If they touch their hair while I am working, I always ask if there is anything else we could do to that part. Luckily Nina, who directs the program is strong on positive reinforcement as a rule. So she keeps telling me that she is lucky to have me on, and that I am doing well. I am glad to have found her to work with. Also..meeting Christian tomorrow, his mother has had other therapists for the last two years of his program. So she will be able to give me some feedback hopefully and some ideas. Just being able to read over the previous data sheets will be helpful.

Here's where the hard work starts

This morning was a challenge. I had my second therapy session on my own with Aaron, and I worked every minute of it. I needed the next hour to wind down The hardest bit was that I didn't feel like he was enjoying the session enough for it to be motivating. I don't want to give in at all to him, because he needs consistency or we are right back where we started. I want him to not hate therapy though. He has to see motivation to put all this hard work in. I did get some good giggles out of him when I was tickling him. I got some good eye contact for blowing bubbles too. I can tell him "nice hands" with my hands out in front, and he will put his hands in mine for a swing up to the bed. I think that is good compliance and good interaction, but I'm not sure if I should be pushing for eye contact every time as well as that. I need to see how well he sorts shapes and help him improve. For that to be at all fun I think I should not push the eye contact, as he sees that as a real power struggle. For animals, staring is a dominance issue. If I stared at my cat she would look away too. I think this is relevant to Aaron in particular because he looks straight into your eyes if he is going to pinch or hit you. He thinks eye stare is dominant, so maybe he feels the discomfort like a cat, and I am forcing him. I understand he needs to learn to read a persons eyes, but you can see how this has to be really rewarding for him to override the instinct to look away. I like to be able to come home and read about things relating to the therapy, and theorise how all the different theories fit in. I am reading Temple Grandins book on How to make your pets happy. She looks at behaviour but adds an emotional element. As in, all behaviours are driven by an emotion, satisfy the emotion and you can control the behaviour. This is slightly different to the true idea behind ABA therapy which is purely behaviorist. I still find the idea, of stimulating certain areas of the brain to get certain responses or emotions, fascinating. So much of what I had thought of as my personality I now put down to chemical balance, DNA, and electrical impulses.
Anyway, back to the salon tomorrow. Two staff members just resigned, the manager was fired two weeks ago, and one more staff member is soon to take maternity leave. I feel both anxious and excited to be probably leaving before Christmas. I need a break to get settled into the house with D, and will most likely appreciate the chance to absorb the new work. I think it will be less draining as I become more sure of the effect I am having. Off to read again though before Lie to Me on tv tonight.
(Geez, I say I a lot!)

It all starts today.

This morning I had my first meeting with a family of a child with Autism. I also got to meet Nina, the psychologist in charge of these programs. After 3 hours with a child who doesn't like to be told what to do, and is used to getting everything he wants, who pinches and doesn't speak, screams and doesn't like to make eye contact, I feel like I have found my calling. I left feeling great, like I knew what to do. Nina seemed impressed with what I had to bring to the table and how I was able to step in and get started straight away. I was able to get A to look at me in order to get some wiggles music, once he had established that I wasn't going to give it to him any other way. I will be working on gettting him to understand that he has to work for the things he really wants. I can take cues from him as to what things will be motivating enough to get compliance from him. Nina made reference to the Lynn Koegel book I have been reading, I had it in the car with me so she asked me to get it to show the mother. I am glad she likes that book, as it is the one that resonates with me the most as far as the type of therapist I would like to be. It is important to me to be happy about the type of training she will be asking of me. She told me I did really well. I had a cancellation from the family that lives far away, and she may just be avoiding setting up a program, in which case Nina may have some other families for me now she has confidence that I can do this. The mother asked if when could I come back. I rang the salon boss straight away to let her know I wanted Friday's off starting asap, and let the receptionist know too. If I believe that this essence is working for me then my ideal was that the currumbin family would find someone else, and that a family closer to home would come up. Nina is being strict about the commitment of 30 hours training from each family. Not just from me but in combination with the work they do themselves. Maybe that wont go down well with that mother. It would be ideal to work with a family that was able to keep the therapy going in between sessions once we had set up the pattern. The ball is rolling, I will meet with the salon boss tomorrow, I intend for everything to fall in line with me doing just Thursdays and Saturdays and very quickly filling up those extra hours with kids.

Finally put to work.

It looks like there may be three families on the Gold Coast who can use me. One is down at Currumbin which is further away than I had hoped but there is always a silver lining. On one day I can combine the therapy with an evening in the salon, which is also on the southside of the coast. On the other I can take my board and go surfing or even just a swim and a bake. It is one of my favourite beaches on the coast. I could maybe even use the opportunity to catch up with Moni who lives down there, or some occasional shopping. I can use D's car on those days, as it is better for highway drives. Also as someone untrained in this field, I am happy to make concessions to start with, and later have more options to choose clients closer to home. I agreed to work with a family at Ormeau, near the farm I used to live on, and will be meeting them on Sunday, then meeting the currumbin family on Monday. A third mum doesn't have a lot of money to devote to this, but probably needs 5 hours or so, and is at Southport, which is just down the road.
D is reassuring me that we can afford for me to do this, and without needing to burn myself out by working my hairdressing job over Christmas too. It is scary to think about not working over Christmas, it is a busy trading time, so lots of money to be made also. The flip side is the family memories that I could be working on with time to spend with the kids instead. In ten years time which will be more important. I can think of certain clients who will not be pleased to hear that I wont be working in the salon any more. Initially I will work Thursday afternoons and Saturdays in the salon, assuming that this will work for all the families involved. If for some reason I hate it, I will have the salon back up plan. But really I need to get out of hairdressing at some point. It is not a job to be doing into my 40's unless I have my own salon, and I don't want to employ others.

My eulogy

I haven't the time to devote to answering this question properly myself, but I thought I would note it down to ensure I got around to it eventually. When I die, what do I want people to think about my life? I don't know that I want a funeral, but the original was what would you want them to say at your funeral? I think it was rules of successful people or something. Think about the different roles you play to different people, and which ones are important to you. Like what do I want my kids to say, my parents, my siblings, my coworkers. Do I really want to be remembered for giving a good haircut? Not really, I would however like to be remembered for using my time to help others. Maybe that a child that I worked with, grew up to remember that I helped them. Or my sister that I was there for her. That I used my brain to good purpose, and life was better for me having been around. What will my legacy be? The idea behind it is that once you visit the ghosts of Christmas future, you will begin to live your life in a way that will result in people seeing you in that light. Also it should help you focus on which roles are most important to you.
I was a bit disheartened to hear that the family I got in contact with today lives much further away than I had realised. Hopefully it is just a small hurdle, if I have enough work in the area to make the drive worthwhile, the gained experience will be good.

great day

Just had a lovely dinner out with friends at a local restaurant. I am not sure why it was as quiet as it was. I really enjoyed the food there. I wouldn't eat the five spice steak again though. Not my favourite flavour combination.
I also got a call from the director of the ABA program today now that she is back in the country. I have the number to call the mother of a child with Autism to talk about setting up a program together. I will call on Monday. I have a nervous excitement about it all. I will make sure to be ready for any questions she might ask me, as I believe she has reservations about hiring a hairdresser to teach her child.
People keep telling me it takes a special person to do that job. Partly yes, but more so it takes someone to just turn up. I guess a lot of people wouldn't think to apply for this position unless they were studying a similar occupation or have a child with Autism. A lot of the time lately I have seen people in certain jobs and thought they must have something different to me. I think now, that they just had the gumption to apply for it. I have the intelligence, so I think I should be using it, and not thinking that other people have something better than me. I don't think I realised before, that not everyone has book smarts. I tend to be able to process information well from reading.
I found my journal where I write down any random info I want to keep. I had Cert III welfare/child services as one of the first jobs I thought to explore, after being told that the psychic thought I could be more useful elsewhere. This seems pretty full circle, and once I have done ABA, if I wanted to expand on that I could look at respite for Autistic disabilities.
The email from the director was even more promising, as she mentioned another family and would I be interested in sharing my time between them. I let her know that I could cut my hairdressing hours to fit in this work as more of a priority. Out of the letters I sent she was the only one to reply, but it seems to be paying off well. I can't wait to begin a program and start experiencing not just reading about it.

The science

This article on a sociability neuron found in worms, may be relevant to autism. Since an overgrowth of neural pathways is found in people with ASD. If this same neuron was found in the human brain, and was shown to be damaged or overgrown, it could explain some of the problems with social behaviour. I am really enjoying finding out more about neuroscience. Even if it is only in laymens terms.
Here is an interesting article on the role of Oxytocin in love and romance. It explains the story of how a species of vole are more monogamous if they have more receptors for oxytocin.