Crystal ball anyone?

I actually had a really good day at work today. I didn't have many clients through the middle of the day, but the colourists did. I applied a semi, rinsed three colours, did a couple of treatments and hand massages and a blowdry. I think I almost enjoy clients more when they are not my responsibility. Or when the bill is not my responsibility. I was getting the towels washed and clients drinks, I enjoy being able to predict what help everyone needs. I would make a great assistant if I went back to it now, but I already was 11 years ago. D told me about another role at the welfare league. Veterinary liason. Basically the go between between the surgery and the public. It is not for profit so I would feel good about arranging to make money for them. All the profits go to save more animals. I am good at problem solving and it would give me more experience in a reception role as well as customer service. I am sure there are a few roles there that I would be quite capable of doing, that would satisfy most of my criteria for a job. I did fill out an application for a bank teller job, but I would come across the problem I have with hairdressing at the moment, that I'm just not passionate about it any more. When I think about it I really have a great job. I make $23 an hour before tax plus commision some times, I know my work, so it's not too much stress. I like all the people I work with. I get to talk to people all day. The down sides are that I don't like the owner, so I don't want to make money for him. I don't like the sales/upselling element of the job, even though I love the product! I have limits on taking holidays during school breaks. I have to work Saturdays. And they are unrelentingly strict with sick days, you just don't get sick. Up until D was asked to work Saturdays I was ok with working the weekend shift. I don't want the kids in Day Care while we both work though. I like them having flexibility on their weekends to go to parties, or go fishing or stay home and read or play computer games. I don't even know if the welfare league would be any better for me with working weekends. Apparently there will be a few vet staff at dinner tomorrow night. Maybe I can muster up the social skills to talk to them and see what they think. Actually that job isn't even available because they already have someone, but D thinks she may not work out. I wish I had a crystal ball and could find out some things that would happen so I could make plans accordingly. If me and D were definitely ready to live together at the end of this lease in November then what choices would I make then? What if I decide to keep my own place? What if we live together again, and then I change things, and we just don't work living together? As always I want all the information before making any decisions. Unfortunately I don't have answers to how will this decision turn out? I have to make a leap of faith. Someone suggested I have to follow my heart. My heart and head always seem to have different opinions. Head says take the safe, secure option. Better the devil you know. Heart says find a calling, find your family, use your talents. Which one's right. Oddly enough D, who is technically a Thinking rather than a Feeling decision maker, seems to be happiest when he follows his heart, and wants me to do the same(with some precautions). I guess everyone feels happier following their heart, just some decide happy is secondary to efficiency. Would my kids be happier with less money but more mum? Would I be happier with less money but more family? I think they might. For my kids I want heart not head. I guess it's the survivalist fear based part of my mind that thinks I need to be on guard. It wants insurance against all possible threats and failures. What would failure be? Worst case scenario I quit, make less money and decide all jobs are equally crap and don't become a better parent, or I still don't make my marriage work and then feel like I threw away a good job. I would still survive, and still have my kids, and they would still be ok, cause I'm cheap, and I am already a good mum. Ok enough analysing for tonight. Time to wash my hair.