Nothing good is created by deception

My last post was written out of jealousy. I believed I wasn't a particularly jealous person, but obviously wrong. I have been jealous for some time, of the relationship my husband shares with one of the school mums. Not because there is anything inappropriate about it. It is just easy. I say their souls recognised each other. They see life the same way, and can relate to each other without needing to put up social boundaries. We spoke about this at length last night. We actually got to speak about a lot of things that have gone unsaid, and I feel a lot better today. Almost relieved to have everything out in the open. I think we have both been taking the relationship for granted, and are giving it a fresh chance, but with more honesty. A lot of the things I write on this blog are things I feel the need to just empty out of my head, for lack of a willing subject to speak to about it all. I responded to Kikipotomus's comment the other day, about being a "take it or leave it" kind of a person. I think both people in a relationship, deserve to know where the other is at. They both need to have all the information available, to decide how much of themselves they want to invest. I have always felt this about cheating, that it unfairly deals one person all the cards, while the other person carries all the risk. I was however not speaking all my thoughts to my husband, out of fear. Complete honesty is a brave thing. Anyhow, ask and it is given. By writing my response, I put it out to the universe that I believe in complete honesty, in a relationship. The result was a glitch in the computer system that sent my blog mail to my husband instead of me. He has now read my blog, and knows the ramblings of my mind, and I don't get much more honest with myself than what I write on here. I joked that the computer glitch would probably self correct now the universe had utilised it. I think one of the revelations for me is seeing the transition in a couple, from having their whole world revolve around one another in the early days, to the realisation that you can't rely on one person to meet all your human needs. I think this is quite common, but it was hard for me to come to terms with. I think this can happen between mother and child sometimes too. I think my mother relied a lot on us, as her family, to meet all her social needs. Now we are grown and less reliant on her, less of that comes from us. It creates a lot of pressure, to make one person responsible for your happiness, or for someone to believe that is their job alone to make you happy. The title of this post came from a Neale D Walsch email I get regularly sent. He says "Not even the smallest untruth, not even the most well-intended "white lie," will produce benefit in the long run. So tell your truth as soon as you know it."