Ok. So I had to think about whether this was more information than I was wanting to give on a blog. But in the interest of being open and honest, here goes. I've been thinking a lot about flirting lately. And I think I really needed this in my life, and probably so did my husband. Some of this comes about from looking at who I was attracted by in my day, as part of the shadow work.
Flirting is about trying to impress someone, and show off your best assets, whatever they may be. Towards the end of school I got good at flirting. I flirted a lot with the people I worked with when I was waitressing. I flirted with some of the customers too. The way I'd dress up, the stories I chose to tell, the energy I'd bring, were all designed to show my best side. Actually it was maybe not my best side, but the side I thought they would most like to see. It was definitely a more sociable and interactive me. Less introverted. I flirted with my husband and I guess it worked. I had a few flings during those years between school and marriage, and I was a more sexual person. I was more aware of that energy in me. Once I was in a commited relationship I stopped flirting. I didn't flirt with my clients, which I think could have been be a disadvantage to me. I didn't need to impress anybody with my sexuality anymore, so I didn't bother. After a while I realise I didn't try to impress my husband either, he was already caught! But in doing so I lost some awareness of my sexuality.
I have noticed that I am more aware than before, that I am a woman. Do I look pretty? Do I sound smart? Am I too old to be sexy? I make an effort to be all of these things now. I smile more, I feel more sexy, and this is where it benefits my husband. Now he has a more sexual wife back. I have no doubt that my husband would be jealous of me thinking about or flirting with another guy. I don't see any danger in it though. I want the world to see me as sensual. I want to be appealing. I think I have found a way to be at peace with the expressive opposite to the analytical that I have associated with. I'm a bit rusty at flirting though. I will have to brush up my skills.
Brave post.
ReplyDeleteYes, very brave and interesting post. Kelly and I were just talking about flirting the other night. I am a big flirt, mostly at the office. I work with a lot of very attractive young ladies, and some older too, and flirting is very common. In talking to Kelly, we were wondering why I do it, why they do it, and is it really innocent? My feeling is that it feels good, plain and simple. We enjoy this activity because it validates us and strengthens our confidence sexually. Both parties know it's a game, and so it's fun without crossing any lines. The danger, I suppose, is that one of the parties might think there is more to it than flirting. That's where it could get sticky.
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