Reading more on Autism in another book by Temple Grandin. I keep getting back to the idea of personality being derived from chemical and genetic causes. I can be a different person depending on the balances of estrogen, caffeine, oxytocin, insulin, adrenalin etc running through my body. My thought patterns are governed by the neuron pathways that grew as a child. My brain compensates for non connected areas by becoming more reliant on others, therefore becoming more visually or musically oriented. Certain foods and hormones have more of an influence on my wellbeing and happiness than any external force.
I like the affectionate me that I become just after my period, less anxious. However I become more driven during the uncomfortable week of pms. While being unsociable I read and learn and clean. I move to change my envirionment. A week later I don't really care as much. I like both at different times. If I learned to control my pms, would I lose my motivation? Maybe I should learn to harness the benefits of all the parts of my "personality" not modulate them. I had thought of getting some natural progesterone to ease my anxiety and cramps, maybe help my restless legs and oversensitivity.
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