In love with my Animus?

I just finished reading a book called Invisible Partners. I picked it up, out of an assortment of random books my Dad had collected, because it mentioned Jung. The book is a discussion of the role of the anime, and anima in our romantic relationships. I have been interested in the idea of projection for a while now and this book gave me a little food for thought.
The idea is that as a female, my ego identifies typical feminine traits with my concious mind, while the unconscious is more masculine in nature. We can never be completely aware of all the aspects of our subconscious, so we project this masculine element onto suitable men in real life or as dreams and fantasies. The animus(male) can be personified in many different ways and can be seen in the many archetypes of mythology. As deities and gods. These can be viewed as positive or negative.
When we project the animus onto a man in our life, we see the image of our animus instead of the reality of the person who carries this image for us. This person seems to be responsible for our very happiness and we believe life will be better, if we can only be with this person, who seems to represent all that is good and strong in a man. This is what we call falling in love. Eventually the real world intrudes on this fantasy and we see them as being human and fallible and the shine seems to wear off. Sometimes this can turn around and we can then project the negative image of the animus onto them, where they now represent all the weaknesses. They seem cold, impersonal and critical, and now are the cause of our unhappiness. Neither is the real picture, and both are our projections of our invisible partner. This theory certainly explains the gloss of all new relationships to me.
If I combine this theory with the personality typing of Jung/ Myers-Briggs, I would have to say it holds true mostly when the female is feeling, and the male is thinking, which is true roughly 60% of the time. When a person is feeling they use their thinking unconsciously and may not be aware of their using it. The thinking function would be personified as their animus. The strengths and weaknesses of the thinking function are expressed as the positive and negative faces of the animus. The reverse would be true of the anima and the feeling function.
The first part of the book focuses on the negative projections of the unconscious. The inner witch and the inner critic. Both of these will come about if there is not enough balance between the masculine and feminine forces. The usual recommendation is for men to learn to express their feelings, and intuitive side, and for women to harness their logic and ambition. Also by using active imagination to dialogue with their characterisations. In women he suggests the animus is often that critical voice that tells us we shouldn't do something. In active imagination we imagine talking to that voice and not only asking it what it wants, but letting it know how we feel about the things it is saying. In men the inner witch appears as a mood which lands upon him. Obviously the book goes into much more detail, and I found quite a few truisms of typical male and female behaviour.
The book also goes on to tell how these negative appearances of the anima and animus can foster personal growth, if they cause you to recognise the need to balance the inner and outer life. The yin and yang balance. A few of the case studies were about people in long term relationships which had gotten past the initial projection phase. These people found themselves having fantasies that involved other people and sought therapy to help them deal with it. I found this bit interesting as I often will find myself having a dream about someone that I would not pursue in a real world situation. It makes sense to me that these dreams/fantasies represent a projection of the animus, which can no longer rest with my husband now that I know him as a whole person, a human. It is like a golden shadow. I have projected that part of me that I am unaware of in my self. If INFP is what I associate my personality/ego as then my animus is likely ESTJ. The obnoxious inner critic in it's negative form, which I project as a shadow aspect onto people, seeing them as the source of my unhappiness. My archetypal hero would be decisive and charismatic, and intelligent, very grounded in the real world. Out of my world I pluck suitable candidates that may show some of these qualities, and project the rest of the archetype onto their face, never seeing them for their true self. Is this why we all have a type that we tend to crush on? Is this why we are attracted to our opposite? We are really seeking someone to represent our hidden self, our invisible partner, which is always really within us.
The lesson to be learnt in this is to recognise when we are projecting, when we are seeing someone to be more than human, or less than. We can try to see what our animus is trying to tell us about getting more balance in our life. I can encourage in myself those traits that I see in them.
It seems a pity at first to dissect the excitement of attraction so clinically, but between the seduction community and Jungian psychology, I can see it all more objectively. Which I guess would be pleasing to my animus, who can only live his life, seemingly, through mine.