On my own two feet

After having my husband take care of all the bills and money for the last 5-10 years, I am slowly taking back responsibility. It would be easy to let him sort out this whole separation thing, from family services, to bank accounts, and splitting finances. In fact I think he feels he still needs to. I went down to the family services office to find out what forms I need and what I need to do. She asked me for my personal account that any parenting payments would come into, and I don't even know my own bank details, or have a card for it. That is todays job. I actually had to blink back a few tears sitting in the chair waiting for her to get me sorted out. It is weird to have to sign forms giving a date of separation. I guess it feels more real. I am coping as I always do, by focusing on the things that need to be done, and keeping busy, trying to organise things and be involved. I still feel bad for my husband, he doesn't deal well with change like this or trying to anticipate the future. The future always looks bleak for him. I want to help but I'm not sure that I can anymore, and I want to focus on looking after me, and finding my own way through it. I think that if I move out sooner and cut my losses with a few things I need, he will be easier able to see what he is left with and what he has to deal with. I have selfish reasons too. It is hard to be thinking of a life on my own while still sleeping in the same bed with him and knowing he is hurt too. I need to get my own head clear to go forward. Logistics first, heart later.