One of my supervisors sent me a link to a series of questions put together by Simon Baron-Cohen (yes, cousin to Sasha, for any fans). He is en expert in the field of autism research, and the book relates to differences between male and female minds and the extreme male brain. I have always thought of autism as relating to Jung's thinking/feeling personality types. Apparently 60% or more of men, are thinking. The english "thinking" makes us think of "smart", but to me it relates more to an objective mind, that doesn't get swayed by human relationships as readily as "most" women. A feeling person could be very smart, and take into account the human element, as an important factor in decision making. Her decision would be subjective. More boys are affected by autism than girls. One point that seems to be made with these tests, is that low empathy is more common of men. It is also generally attributed to those with autism. So of course I did the tests. I rated low on Empathy, average on systemizing, highish in the autism, and high on the eye test. I have thought about where I was too hard on myself on some questions, and where I might have been too easy.
People don't usually tell me I'm rude or blunt, but sometimes I sense it. They used to say I was calming in the salon. Is that just cause I'm reserved and give people pause to think. Other times I think I have more tact than other expressive people who just blurt it all out. I have a tendency to correct people which no one would really like. I sort of feel compelled sometimes to know the facts, and tell people if they don't know. I can avoid saying something to be nice though, and I don't like to make others sad. Some of my "niceness" is an avoidance of conflict, and then a lot is just introversion. Apparently I can tell peoples emotions by their faces, I just choose not to act on it a lot of the time. I think I'm interested in people, but from an observation point, not actually as a participant. I actually don't often like other peoples children. I don't mind the kids I work with though. Maybe it's because I'm dealing with them directly. One of the questions related to being able to put myself in other peoples shoes. I think I said I wasn't great. But then I thought how I loved fiction, as much as my fact books. Not mills and boon stuff, but characters. Does that count? I always loved Anne of Green Gables and Emily of New Moon. (Re-reading them at the moment) Did I just envy their imaginations? I never enjoyed coming up with fictional stories. At the moment I need to come up with a gift for my mother for her birthday and mothers day. I am crap at gift giving. If they wanted it, wouldn't they have bought it? and wouldn't they want to choose it themselves? but gift cards can seem thoughtless. I think it comes down to me not being able to put myself in other peoples shoes. I have to analyse it. My mum is a Sensory. She likes "stuff", but she is moving house for the first time in 26 years. She has half a lifetime of stuff to whittle down, in a matter of weeks. She is also Feeling, and likes all the sentimental stuff. I am not very good at sentimental. Any thing of that sort feels fake from me. I did once make a CD for her, of country music songs sung with my older sister. She loves that stuff. She would love for me to paint her a picture, but I have left it too late for that, and she doesn't need more stuff. Actually she has never really displayed any of my stuff, but she says she wishes I did more. I hate cliche. I don't want to get her slippers and PJ's, even though I would be happy to recieve them, and some chocolates. I did see tickets to Fame. She might enjoy a girls night out to the theatre. She took us to see Big River when we were little, and Jesus Christ Superstar. We were her dates, Dad would never have come. Wow have I gone off on a tangent.
I'm not autistic. But I guess we all have some traits, and I have enough quirks to at least relate. In the true sense of the word, autism derives from self. Inwardly focused. I think I have a diagnosis of introversion, but with the skills to fake it in an extroverted world when really neccesary. So I guess I am a "high-functioning" introvert.
For some odd reason, this post reminds me of what happened yesterday at the national park. We were on a trolley and some fellow three seats back was pontificating about autism to this family he barely knew. I think the young man in their party was low functioning and in the spectrum. Anyway, this fellow was going on and on about how autistic people have savant areas that aren't that useful in life.... On and on he went regurgitating this pop pseudo knowledge. I was having a hard time biting my tongue. Then he said something about, "that psychologist, the one who gets all the popular work,...." The people to whom he was speaking were guessing Dr. Phil, etc. He said, "no, you know, from Awakenings." I couldn't help it. "Oliver Sacks," I blurted, "and he's a neurologist."
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