A little disheartened.

Talk about ups and downs. On Monday we had a team meeting about one of the boys I work with. Make sure we were all on the same page. I needed clarification on a couple of the tasks I was teaching. Nina said she would like to see some video footage from both me and A's mum. So she needs to buy a second hand video. I brought my camera in the next day to see If I could get some video in the meantime. I did, and felt satisfied with my progress as I watched it back. Nina asked me not to bring the video though, as she wanted A's mum to become more proficient in running the program, and to take a step back so she doesn't become dependent on me. She said to take it as a compliment that she has never had to ask a therapist to do less before, but I hate having to be told stuff without working it out on my own. So I was a little anxious. Then yesterday with C I jus. It felt like I wasn't getting anywhere with him. I could babysit him all day, I don't find his behaviour challenging in that way, but he isn't overly motivated to get these tasks right which slows his progress. I felt drained by the end of it. I decided to email Nina to ask for hints, but agonised over whether I should be bothering her with the problem. Would she start to think that she had made a mistake in judging my proficiency so quickly. I think because he has another therapist who seems to get so much out of him I feel more out of my depth. She has been in the states since the beginning of his December program so I have nothing to compare with yet. I know it is in my nature to overthink any interaction I have with other people, and that they usually don't give it much more than a second thought. I haven't recieved a reply back. I hope that today I don't feel that last hour stretching out thinking "What do you want!? " I just want him to want something enough to ask for it, or to try for it. He is on a restricted diet so no lollies or biscuits. Which I commend them for doing. I don't even know if he would try harder for those things.
I need my best animated voice this morning. And make a few games out of the things we do, and try for a few more gross motor activities. Today will be better.