crushed

I have a nervous sick lump in my throat. Due to delays in funding, one of the kids I have been working with has not had any video taken of our sessions until this Monday. When I got there to record, the camera was still in the box, so I missed the first half of the session. Nina just called to say that the video shows that I have given him credit on the data, that he is not due. I also got an email to review some written material on PRT that she has sent me previously. I hate to hear criticism, and really take it to heart, so those few words fill me with perceived dissapointment in my abilities. Oh I wish I had been able to give her some video earlier, before so much time had passed. I have had a rough week with a head cold, and have found it draining to finish the sessions. I felt very useless and unmotivated while working with C this afternoon. He just giggled at me the whole time like someone who had been smoking pot. They all have so much faith in me, and I just don't know if I am reaching the mark. I worry, and this is evident by my dreams, that I have made a mistake in this job, maybe it is outside my potential, to actually do the therapy not just analyse it.
Before the phone call, I was hoping that my lack of motivation was just because of my bad health, but now I feel like it was maybe just my gut telling me to wake up. I am going to worry about this until Monday at the meeting, I just hope I can pull it together enough to take the criticism in the light that I am sure Nina intends it.