I found myself thinking about the four elements again yesterday, after what was said about me being a water girl and my husband being fire. I looked up my old profiles and how the personality types I had done for members of my family related to the elemental nature for us. Mine is that I extrovert Air( my sun sign is Aquarius also which is an air sign), But introvert Water. I always thought of myself as having mostly Air traits, but have realised how much of my favoured introvert ways are Water. My Husband is Earth and Fire, He extroverts his Fire. ( He is a Leo, a fire sign). I think he was being more dominant in his Earth though, at least from my perspective at home. I think a lot of his motivation and passion had been lost, and was mostly solitary and contemplative and depressed. So I see why she has told him to avoid spending too much time with Earth dominant people. We are definitely opposites. However the yin and yang would probably say that was a perfect union, The masculine traits of the hunter/provider being sensory and logical. With the feminine intuition and emotion, of the carer and gatherer. We are just typical man and woman. I am reading Men are from Mars and Women are from Venus, at the moment. Obviously it speaks in generalizations, but so far I find I can relate to a fair sum of it, in how it relates to our manner of communication, and what we value in a partnership. One thing in particular that I noticed is that a mans ego values achievement in tasks. Results driven. A woman doesn't much care if she is seen as incapable of a task, because her ego is driven by the quality of her relationships. He felt unneeded and incapable of providing for his family because I could earn more. So he was unmotivated. I felt that my relationships were nonexistent because I wasn't at home nurturing my family. So I felt sad. Another theory in the book is that women are the nurturers in their relationships with others, so in a partnership she wants to be taken care of. I think that our role reversal was good for building a bond between my husband and the kids, but didn't serve our natures very well and made us both feel unfulfilled. I regret the time I missed with the kids, despite what I have achieved at work. The achievement feels a bit empty. I guess that's why hearing that I should be finding meaningful work, rings true. I have been feeling lately that I am just enabling a shallow, image conscious mindset. Especially since being on the coast. That's not the part of living here that I'm drawn too, and I know that there is a whole other side of the coast that I'm missing by being there. I want the outdoors and I want to help people move forward and open up not just skim the surface. How is another issue. In the salon I get given any clients who appear to be high maintenance, high strung, and have challenging hair or personalities. By the end of the service they feel listened to, and are relaxed. That is one skill I would like to use. I'm good at explaining things to my clients or teaching other staff. I'm patient and thorough, so I would like to be able to educate people. Then I would like to feel that what I'm teaching them is going to enrich their lives in some way. I don't want to sell or manipulate people. I still like the idea of researching, but I'm not sure how that would enrich anyone, and I would have little direct contact with people. I sometimes wish I had pursued psychology so that I could do some form of counselling with people. I think I would like to help immigrants to fit into the community. Or getting people back on track with jobs or something. teachers aide? but that is mostly organising materials, not interacting. My husband has suggested working down at the welfare league, and getting into the education department there, teaching people about how to live with their animals. I mostly know about cats though, I don't have skills with dogs. I guess I should get back into doing my ROBERTA, to help me manifest the right job. ROBERTA is an acronym to remember the steps. Rest in the now, Objective, Beliefs that don't serve me, Empowering beliefs to replace them, Rung - plan the steps on the ladder, Take the first step, Allow for a miracle. I used to practise a lot more, and felt more positive about where things were going. My goals were different then though. I had a few goals I didn't think were possible without stepping on someone elses toes, or losing sight of my responsibilities. So I didn't pursue them.
My husband read my last post. I certainly didn't write it with the thought that he could read it. He doesn't even have a computer yet. I got online this morning to remember what I had actually written. I often don't remember once it's down, and I aim not to edit myself while I type. It's more honest than I would have been to his face maybe. I have been keeping my feelings to myself. I don't want to promise too much when I'm hopeful, or ruin too much when I'm unsure. But I'm glad he did read it, because honesty is what I expect from him and so I should be able to give the same. Anyway time to get on with my day, It looks beautiful outside.