Not an angry person.

I think I must work with some angry women. That or I just very non-confrontational.
I have asked my husband to take some time to really evaluate how he feels about his friend. He felt really bad when she wrote him an email about how hurt she was that he had gone back to me. He knew when he asked me to come back that she would be angry, but he had not counted on it being so hard to let her go. I didn't read the email or it's response. My husband thought it better if I didn't read what she really thinks of me. Not much apparently. He tells me he doesn't want a romantic relationship with her, even if we were not together. I believe him, however I don't think I can handle a marriage with such competition from another emotional connection. I can however be a good friend while he pursues whatever it is he needs to be happy. So he is taking time. I asked him if he thought I should be worried. He can't answer me with an easy no. So I am just biding time. I can't be angry though. Should I be? All the girls at work seem to think so. They only pick up on bits, and they are furious! They think I should be ringing her, and telling her to get out of my life and my marriage. I don't want to hurt her though. I certainly don't want to hurt him. I don't know which option is better for him though. Would it be better for him if I told him I didn't want to be married to him? Then he wouldn't have to choose. He wouldn't have to try to make me happy and do the right thing. He wouldn't have to give her up. We could stay friends? Apparently she thinks I am only doing this so I can move on in my life. I feel quite detatched from all this most of the time. I told him that I am leaving the tags on him, in case I need a refund. I haven't quite decided if this is a keeper yet. Mind you, he is doing all the things he said he would. The kids are moved, I have a car of my own. His heart is not free yet though, and I can't hand over mine until I think it is safe in his hands. I can't tell her to go away, because it is not her I want to make the decision. I want him to be willing to let her go, or willing to set me free. At the moment neither option sounds good to him. I'm not surprised really, he is not used to making decisions based on emotion. Logic doesn't explain where he's at and with the personality profile making decisions based on emotion would be his weakest and most unconscious area. What if he really needs her in his life, but due to it being in his nature to resist change, he stays with me? I worry that if I keep my heart in a box for too long, I won't be able to revive it properly later. What if he chooses me and later regrets it but it's too late to get her back? What if he can never decide? Do I stay with him even if she is still around? Will she stay if she can't have him to herself? Am I being insecure in not wanting him to have her in his influence? Too many questions and not enough answers. I haven't been crying about this, or angry, just noticing I guess. Observing and waiting. On a positive note I think I may get my surfboard tomorrow. That will get me excited for the day. Maybe this being ok with it all is just my being able to trust in the universe now. Any outcome will be ok for me.